Judge John Hodgman on the 'Egg Meat' Debate

Judge John Hodgman on the ‘Egg Meat’ Debate

A married couple disagree on what to call their protein source.


Nick writes: My husband and I were eating at our local diner in Philadelphia. I get the same thing every time: two eggs, ham, hash browns and wheat toast. When our bill came, the receipt said “egg meat,” in reference to the ham. This raised the question “Is egg meat?” My husband says no, but he’s wrong. Please order him to acknowledge egg is “meat.”

Diners are great places for dumb debates over obvious things. I hope you had fun annoying your husband, but eggs aren’t meat. Per the U.S.D.A., eggs are distinct in the protein group from poultry, fish, legumes and (wait for it) meat — which everyone understands to mean ham and other mammal flesh. But I hold you both in contempt for eating in a Philadelphia diner and not ordering scrapple, which I desperately miss (along with my personal scrapple temple, the late Little Pete’s on 17th Street) and is definitely meat (of some kind).

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